I am currently in Bapst Library (aka Harry Potter Library because of its gothic architecture) studying my brains out. I think the caffeine (2 cups of coffe, a pepsi, and a red bull) from earlier in the day is starting to wear off.

That's why I am so glad things happen like this in here:

- someone created a facebook event called "dance party in bapst" and told everyone who was studying in bapst on friday night to spontaneously break out into song and dance (preferably by blaring beyonce from their laptops) at exactly 10:55 pm. the group got passed around all day today. and then it happened. and it was a welcome break, I must say.
- it's kinda like that time last year a group of senior guys decided to streak through the library at about 3:00 am.
- or that time about half the students studying here rose up for the collective 11:00 scream one night, a tradition here.
- or those times when students bring gallons and gallons of dunkin donuts coffee and donuts to share and pass around at 1:00 am, a sign of our collective suffering and solidarity as BC eagles.

... maybe THAT's why they started having a security guard around here, walking around and monitoring our activities as we study.... gotta say I'm kinda proud...



...and back to fighting the good fight.

Went to my last classes today.

And let the finals stress and madness begin.

THE LIST:
- 10 - 15 pager for Prophets and Peacemakers comparing Oscar Romero & Dorothy Day's ethics on violence/nonviolence (due THURSDAY but hopefully it will be done before then)
- study for Peace or War final (Saturday, 12:30 - 2:30 pm)
- study for Spanish final (Saturday, 4:00 - 6:00 pm)
- 15 page final paper for Religion in Latin American History (due TUESDAY the 16th but this also needs to get done before then)
- prepare essays (6 possibilities) for in class final essay for Ethics, Religion, and International Politics (WEDNESDAY the 17th)
- say goodbye?! to the seniors: have a good life, I hope I see you again! (???!!) to the juniors: I love you, see you in nine months! (???!)
- leeeeave BC on the 17th, drive with Kara to Rochester. engage in Christmastime happiness.
- fly home Dec 22.

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
      "I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"
The LORD said, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. 
- Gen 4: 9 - 10



On November 16th, 1989 six Jesuit priests were murdered at the University of Central America (UCA) in El Salvador, alongside their housekeeper, Elba, and her teenage daughter Celina. They were murdered by members of the Atlacatl Batalion, an elite unit of the Salvadoran military fully funded by the US government and trained in Fort Benning, Georgia at the US Army School of the Americas.

They were just a few of many on a long, long list of victims of graduates of the SOA. Murdered for political reasons, silenced because "democracy" is only okay if it serves the rich and powerful. The government says the SOA is a school that teaches democracy, but we know that democracy cannot be taught through the barrel of a gun.

These Jesuits were witnesses to the Kingdom, the Kingdom that Christ calls us to bring to the world, here and now, because God is not somewhere above us in the clouds, sleeping in a hammock. God is here with us, and is especially present in the poor and crucified of this world. They lived their lives in solidarity with the poor and spoke against the oligarchic, political, and military structures in El Salvador that kept the poor and powerless "on the cross."

And for this, they were murdered.

Archbishop Oscar Romero, also assasinated for speaking for the poor of El Salvador, said this:
"I am glad, brothers and sisters, that the Church is persecuted because of its preferential option for the poor and for trying to incarnte itself in the interests of the poor. It would be sad if in a country wehre people are being murdered so horribly, there were not also priests among the victims. They are the witnesses of a church incarnated in the problems of the people."


And so, it was with revenant, solemn, prayerful hearts that nineteen years later, over 20,000 people came together outside that gates of Fort Benning to remember, to mourn, and to call for an end to the injustice.

Their voices were silenced, but as long as their legacy lives on in us, their message will not be lost.

Oscar Romero, ¡Presente!
Segundo Montes, ¡Presente!
Ignacio Martín-Baró, ¡Presente!
Amando Lopez, ¡Presente!
Igancio Ellacuría, ¡Presente!
Joaquin Lopez y Lopez, ¡Presente!
Juan Ramon Moreno, ¡Presente!

...and the list goes on.

How shall we remember our martyred brothers and sisters?
- by tearing down the structures that continue to silence the poor of the world
- by closing the School of the Americas and seeking to change oppressive US foreign policy
- by seeking not only peace, but also JUSTICE in El Salvador (as well as other war-torn Latin American countries) by bringing to light the TRUTH about what happened during the war: families of the disappeared have a right to know; the tortured have a right know. and those who commited crimes against humanity must be held responsible if we are ever going to have peace.
- by taking up our own crosses - by not living for ourselves alone, but for our brothers and sisters, whose cried of desperation rise each day louder still.

 

Let me just start off by saying that I believe US foreign policity is THE most important issue in any US presidential election, because it makes the most difference in the world. You can debate what issues are most important domestically - abortion, immigration law, taxes - but these issues only affect us. But the truth is it makes only a small difference to Americans who our president is (because to make substantial change in these areas also depends on local governments, the House of Representatives, the Senate, the Supreme Court). But because the President of the US has so much power over our military (as commander in chief) and has so much authority in the world in terms of international politics, it makes an ENORMOUS difference to the rest of the world, especially the poor and the marginalized of the world, who the President of the United States is.

Also, I apologize this is so long. But I hope you all get a chance to read what I have to say. I have spent the last 2.5 years studying these things, and it cuts me to the heart.

That being said, this is why I voted for Barack Obama:
HE IS NOT A NEO-CON.

(A neo-con is a "neo-conservative." Read this wikipedia article. It is very important to understand neoconservativism in the US today, because it is THE driving force behind much of our current foreign policy. The intellectual architects of the Iraq war, for example, and unapologetic neo-cons).

Neo-conservativism as a foreign policy/international relations theory basically says that the US, as the world hegemonic power, has a right and a duty to protect our national interests in the world through military force. This means that what is good for us ("us" being the elties of American society, the rich, the military-industrial complex, oil companies, etc) is good for the rest of the country and for the world. It believes that protection of "the national interest" through military force (for example, the militarization of Iraq to protect oil fields from nationalization) is a necessary and good thing. It believes in the BUSH DOCTRINE - the belief that preemptive war (wars we start against others before we see an actual threat, but in our "self-defense") is legitimate. George Bush is a neo-con. John McCain is a neo-con. Sarah Palin is a neo-con. (At least, she professes to be, though I highly doubt she actually understood anything about international relations before joining the McCain camp). Every member of John McCain's foreign policy advising committee is a neo-con.

I honestly, honestly am absolutely digusted by neo-con thinking. I wholeheartedly believe that neo-con doctrines are driven by powerful Americans who are seeking to increase their power and influence in the world. (and it's not just "I believe." It is a fact - do the research.) They have the power - the money, the guns, the political influence - to get what they want from the world, so they do. And if fact, they are unapologetic about their hegemony. They even say that it is for the good of the rest of the world that they are in power. They say they want to bring "freedom" and "democracy" to the rest of the world, yet they are selective about who they want to being this "freedom" and "democracy" to. (Where is the freedom and democracy for Ugana? Kenya? Rwanda? Swaziland? Burundi? Oh, right. It's not in the "national interest" to bring freedom to THEM.) Oh, AND, they bring freedom and democracy through very undemocratic means - like war.

Can democracy really be imposed through the barrel of a gun?

Hell no.

DEMOCRACY? FREEDOM?

Understand the war in Iraq is an essential part of understanding how neoconservativism is driving international politics today.
So, why are we involved in such an expensive, explosive way in the Middle East?

The answer is oil. This is not "liberal" nonsense. Or some kind of conspiracy theory. It's a fact of international relations, and even Republicans will admit we have crucial oil interests in the Middle East. (They'll talk about ideals like "freedom" and "democracy" and all that, but that fact is that those ideals are just justifications for military presence in the region.)

If we really wanted to support democracy and freedom in the MIddle East, we would not have propped up Saddam Hussein's deplorable, despotic, brutal regime in the 1980s and 1990s.

If we really wanted democracy and freedom for the people, we would not have overhtrown the democratically-elected Iranian President  Mohammed Mosaddeq in 1953 and replaced him with a brutal dictator who plunged the country into poverty and repression.

If we really supported democracy and freedom, we would not have supported Iraq in its war of aggression against Iran in 1980, the so-called "children's war" because it consisted almost entirely of teenage soliders forced by their respective regimes into military service.

If we really supported democracy and freedom in the region, we would not be KEY allies with Saudi Arabia, a country where one family (the House of Saud) controls ALL political power, and therefore also all the ecoonomic resources of their oil-rich country. They are filthy rich while their people are dirt poor.

If we really wanted to support the people of Iraq, we would have already handed over to them their own democracy. This could have already been done. And yet we continue to occupy thier country.

IRAQ
I believe that we lost the war in Iraq the moment we invaded. It is crucial to understand why, because if one does not understand the mistakes that were made, how can one EVER make things right over there? If it was wrong to go there in the first place, how can staying there longer (cough*john*mccain*cough) make anything better? It can't. It will only make things worse. And I believe that Barack Obama understands this. Infact, he has been against the war in Iraq since the beginning.

So what happened in Iraq?

Well, you have to understand the history.

After the Ottoman Empire collapsed, the British took control of Iraq as a colonial power. They came in first claiming to be liberators from tyranny and forebearers of liberalism and democracy. They said they were not there to occupy. And yet the British army occupied Iraq for 40 years, from 1918 until 1948, after the British economy collapsed after WWII.

Forty years of military occupation. Forty years of the Iraqi civilian population being disenfranchized, not given rights in their own land. I mean, think of the feelings in this country before our own war of independence. All we wanted was national independence from a colonialist oppressor. Seld-determination.

So in 1958 a coup d'etat, as the political factions in the country began to work out how they were going to govern themselves. Saddam Hussein emerged as the political leader, with the backing of the United States. This was NOT a democracy, but the US backed him because he was good at keeping things in control - he was so authoritarian. In fact, Saddam Hussein was one of the most highly paid CIA operatives in the world at the time. We liked him because he kept real democracy suppressed (and real democracy would have meant nationalization of the country's resources- OIL - instead of letting US oil companies get all the revenue. Novel idea, right? Letting the people of a country actually benefit from their country's resoruces!)

So when Saddam started to get too "uppity," aka not doing what we wanted him to, we went in. I'm not talking about 2003, but the Persian Gulf War in 1992. This war, led by the first George Bush, is often cited as a "just war," by almost any definition. Basicially, this is what went down: Saddam wanted access to Kuwaiti oil fields (he wanted to INVADE Kuwait and take them over). But the US embassy, despite our influence in Saddam's regime, didn't really give him a clear "red light." We didn't say yes, invade Kuwait, but we didn't say no, either. So we kind of just let it happen, then we claimed ZOMG DEMOCRACY IS AT STAKE! IRAQ IS INVADING ANOTHER COUNTRY AND WE CAN'T JUST LET THAT HAPPEN! So we went in and assisted the Kuwaiti regime (no victory for democracy, because Kuwait was also one of the most disgusting, most brutual, most undemocratic regimes ever), and bombed the shit out of Iraq. People say this was a "clean war" because supposedly newer, more efficient weapons were used and the civilian casualty rate was low (or so they say).

 But the real truth is that between 100,000 to 200,000 Iraqis were killed in this war. (The US media usually only tells us the American casualty rate, which was a few hundred or so. But is not all life equal? Does the life of one Iraqi child matter as much as that of an American soldier?)

And their deaths were not "clean" or "efficient," but incredibly brutal and painful. Many civilians were burned to death. Many were buried by hot sand. We bombed the water infrastructure (supposedly to take out Saddam's communications capabilities), leading to the death by dehydration in the desert of thousands and thousands of civilians. Almost an entire generation of Iraqi children died. Almost an entire generation. Because they had no clean water. Because we bombed them.


Let that sink in for a minute.
Imagine - if you were an ordinary Iraqi how would you perceive the United States government and military?

Would you think we came to liberate you from oppression when, 12 years later, we overthrew the dictator we helped put into power?
Would you welcome us? Would you thank the soliders?

No. Of course not. So it's no surprise that we were not greeted as liberators in 2003.

Yes, Iraqis wanted Saddam gone. They hated him. He was a brutal dictator. But for the US government to say that we were liberating them from oppression is complete and utter bullshit in the minds of the vast majority of Iraqis. To them, a US military presence in Iraq is only the replacement of one brutal regime with another, just as a British occupation only perpetuated thier oppression.

The people of Iraq want freedom. The want democracy. But they want to choose it for themselves. They want to elect their own politicians, their own intelligentsia. Our presence has literally created the sectarian violence in the country between Kurds, Sunnis, and Shias. These divisions did not exist five years ago. Why do we think our military presence there now is protecting the Iraqis? WE ARE THE PROBLEM.




SO, Mr. John McCain. If putting my "COUNTRY FIRST" means continuing an unjust occupation of Iraq, continuing violence in the region, and continuing to impose "democracy" through the barrel of a gun so that our economy can be slightly better off, so that the price of gas can go down a few cents, then I say NO. I do NOT put my COUNTRY FIRST before the poor of the world. I do NOT put my COUNTRY FIRST before the decades and decades of death seen not only by the Iraqi people but by almost every other country in the world in which we have intervened militarily. No, sir, I am PRO-LIFE. All life. I want dignity, justice, and peace for the poor of the world.

No, sir, I want CHANGE.
 


world reacts to Obama's win

I wish you could have been here. Tuesday night will be one of the fondest memories of my life, a night I'll never forget. I have been a Barack Obama supporter and believer in his message and politics from the beginning - even since freshman year, before he even announced his candidacy. He is a truly intelligent, gifted, and genuine politician. I have believed that he would be an extraordinary President of the United States when almost no one else thought he'd be able to beat Hilary Clinton or John Edwards in a primary, much less the Republican nominee.

And here we are. And yes we can.

Wacthing the results come in, time after time, the "swing states" going blue - states we knew McCain had only little chance of winning - it still felt unreal. Like it couldn't really be happening. Like it was too good to be true. Because now that I really think about it, people of our generation have never really been able to be happy with our president, to be excited about the democratic process. We've had Bush for the lst 8 years, and whether or not you support him now or supported him back then, I think it would be a far stretch to say that he was the candidate of the youth, that he had our support. And before that, when we were just in elementary school - Clinton, and the whole sex scandal. We were too young to understand his politics, but we learned not to expect too much from our president.

My faith in the democratic process - in the power of grassroots movements, the voice of the people - was born in the process. I really don't think I actually believed movements like ours could actually work, until now. Like my activism, desire to end the war, participation in grassroots movements for economic justice in the world, the closure of the School of the Americas, and end to the unjust occupation of Iraq and Palestine - these are all things I care deeply about, but I never really thought I had much say in the matter.

But now, I don't know. Things just feel so different. Barack's campaign has never really been about him, but about us. The people. WE have funded his campign, wholely (a risky move, but one that gave his campaign and election so much more legitmacy! what a brilliant, brave, right thing to do!). It has been about our voices calling for change.

And when the news broke that, yes, finally, it's true, REALLY - Barack Obama, a black man, the son of a Kenyan, raised by his grandmother - will be the next President of our country, I cannot explain to you the emotions that we all felt. There was at first just yelling and pure joy! We won! And then there was disbelief - did this just happen? can this be true? Then it sunk in a little more, and I could not contain my excitement. A bunch of my friends and I were watching the results at the house of our friends who live just off campus, and we ran outside into the street, where a lot of other people were running around, honking their car horns, screaming out of their windows. We just joined the chorus. We RAN down Commonwealth Avenue, the main street next to campus that goes right into the heart of downtown Boston, joined the yelling, and the noise, and the joy. We caught the bus to the local bar just off campus, and everyone on the bus had the same idea. This just happened. We are celebrating! Total strangers joined together in our excitement, chanting YES WE CAN! We JUST DID! We crammed ourselves into the bar where hundreds of BC students could NOT get the smiles off their faces.

And his acceptance speech. Beautiful. I cried. He is MY president.

Super Mario World!

the question mark box, Luigi, Toad, the fire flower, the pirhana plant (ME!), and Mario

such a good night.

Things to do before I leave:

- order football season tickets
- read Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain
- get eyebrows tweezed :-D

DONE:
- call Kara
- call Amy
- call Emily
- pack clothes/books/other things I need in boxes and SHIP to BC. (I can only check one item on the plane, and that needs to be my guitar, because I'll need that on the InterVarity leadership retreat that is happening next week).
- practice songs on guitar
- pack carry-on with a weeks worth of clothes, toiletries, and other essentials to get me through until my boxes come

I just bought on Amazon.com Marketplace the following used movies, all for under one dollar (most for just one cent, plus shipping):

-We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
- Peter Pan
- All Dogs Go To Heaven (this one is on DVD)
- A Little Princess
- The Land Before Time (I)
- The Great Mouse Detective

I will add these to my collection I started last semester, which includes The Lion King, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and Pocahontas. Allllll of my old VHS movies from when I was little drowned in the hurricane, because my freaking sister stole them from me and left them at Steve's house (Austin & Brennan's dad). But it has been fun rebuilding the old collection and rediscovering great movies, especially for so cheap.


I propose we have a Disney/movies from our childhood party when Laura returns.

Sometimes my job makes me hate people.

I'd rather watch movie stars get fat;
I'd rather hang up a flag and be done with it;
I rather keep the fire and the frenzy out of my mind.

I'd rather take sides in an argument;
I'd rather crank up the bass in a dark basement;
I'd rather leave the mobs and the murder in a distant land.

Let the sunshine in.

My vote's a bet in a football pool:
Five on the red, six on the blue.
Wake up, fool, there's no time for a shouting match!

I smell blood, and there's no blood around.
Blanked out eyes and the blanked out sound,
I see them coming back, motionless in an airport lounge.

Let the sunshine in.

You should be gettin' stoned with a prom dress girl,
You should still believe in an endless world,
You should blast Young Jeezy with your friends in a parking lot.

Let the sunshine in.
Let the sunshine in.
The sunshine in...

This past week I've been on a high.

Not just because a week ago I became officially Catholic (really and truly), and that makes me so happy, but also because the weather has been AMAZING. I'm talking sixties and seventies, sunny, slightly breezy. Campus is just alive and bustling. It's so collegiate. I have been continually struck by how beautiful my campus is. Every day this week, I have taken some time to just bring a blanket up to middle campus and do some reading/napping/iPod listening/otherwise just chilling in the gorgeous St. Mary's garden (the Jesuit residence, with its beautiful Gothic architecture). I can see a noticeable difference in people's moods, too. Sunshine really does make you happy, especially after such a damn long winter, where we only see the sun once in a while. People go on walks around the reservoir, or have a picnic in the dustbowl, or break out their instruments and jam in the quad.

Plus, I really have had a very low-key week, work wise. The Pulse van has broken down the last three out of four days, which has given me tons of free time (most of which was spent reflecting/relaxing/hanging out in the sun in St. Mary's garden). And tomorrow is MARATHON MONDAY! Which means we don't have classes, because the world famous BOSTON MARATHON goes right by BC. It's seriously going to be one of the most fun days all year. It's a lot like Mardi Gras, only less sketchy. It's so awesome to go out there and watch everyone running by, from the mind-blowingly fast Kenyans to the people preparing for the Olympics to the people running for charities or in memory of loved ones, to the crazy people in chicken suits who just do it for fun. Everyone on campus has some sort of party or BBQ, and the place is just alive with festivity. PLUS I don't have classes on Tuesdays, so this is a four-day weekend for me. And it's so fucking beautiful outside that I can't feel sad about anything, and I'm in love with life.




Duck Tour through Boston (and the Charles River!) with Edmonds third floor



Frisbee on St. Mary's with Erin Kelly :)



Meg studies.



Me and Meg are happy in the sun.

assassinated on March 24th, twenty-eight years ago




Transcendence means breaking through encirclements.
It means not letting oneself be imprisoned by matter.
It means saying in one’s mind:
I am above all the things that try to enchain me.
Neither death nor life
nor money nor power nor flattery–
nothing can take from one this transcendent calling.
There is something beyond history.
There is something that moves the threshold
of matter and time.
There is something called the transcendent,
the eschatological,
the beyond,
the final goal.
God, who does not let things contain him
but who contains all,
is the goal to which the risen Christ calls us.
MAY 27, 1979

We must learn this invitation of Christ:
"Those who who to come after me
must renounce themselves."
Let them renounce themselves,
renounce their comforts,
renounce their personal opinions,
and follow only the mind of Christ,
which can lead us to death
but will surely also lead us to resurrection.
JUNE 19, 1979

We should not wonder that a church
has a lot of cross to bear.
Otherwise, it will not have a lot of resurrection.
An accommodating church,
a church that seeks prestige,
without the pain of the cross,
is not the authentic church of Jesus Christ.
FEBRUARY 19, 1978

one year.


pictures.


I still feel it so hard.







if we have no peace,
it is because
we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
-mother teresa

Holy crap, does the work never end?

I spent the whole weekend doing work. Then yesterday I went to class ALL day and came straight back to work on this Pulse paper, which I worked on until late.

Today I will be finishing that paper. And then beginning and finishing an IS paper, which is due in about 19 hours.

Yayyyy.

Can I just say how much I HATE my international studies midterm right now? It's a six page paper. Which doesn't really sounds so bad. But it's based on a lot of different readings, and it's a pretty complex, multilayered essay prompt. AND (this is the kicker) it is assigned on Friday at noon and due Monday morning.

Which means we are all consigned to a weekend of drudgery.

Which is why I staying in last night to do work (for, you know, my OTHER CLASSES), and I am still sitting in my room doing work at 11:30 on a Saturday night. And I haven't even started writing this thing. Mostly because I just don't know how to answer the question.


KILL ME.


EDIT: DONE! 5:19 pm Sunday. sigh.